On the cover of the Rolling Stone...

You must be a guitar player if...
+ You write songs about playing guitar.
+ Your girlfriend got a new g-string and you ask, "phosphor bronze or nickel wound?"
+ Air guitar is your second favorite instrument.
+ You have calluses on your fingers for life.
+ You tie your shoes up with high gauge strings.
+ You go through more strings than girlfriends.
+ Your dad comes homes and says he dented the fender and you immediately run to check on your Strat.
+ You can play "Stairway" on any stringed instrument.
+ You like to figure out TV show themes just to kill time.
+ You stopped playing a song because of a mistake that no one else noticed.
+ You take more than one guitar on a 3-day vacation.
+ No matter where you are, you're within 5 inches of a tray of picks.
+ You remember your guitar's birthday and forget your mom's.
+ There is always somebody knocking on your bedroom door telling you to keep it down.
+ People are always concerned when they see you without your instrument.
+ You are more worried about breaking a finger than breaking a leg.
+ You may not have cash in your wallet, but you always have picks.
+ You've missed two meals in a row trying to "tab out" a song.
+ You have a shrine to Jimmy Page, Eddie Van Halen and Randy Rhodes in your basement.
+ You are reading this list with a guitar on your knee.